March comes in like a Pritarr and goes out like a Nerf! I couldn’t quite think of a pet from Star Wars: The Old Republic that was truly like a lamb, but I do think nerfs are an acceptable choice for me to illustrate to celebrate the official start of Spring.
Across Star Wars lore Nerfs are traditionally depicted as domesticated farm animals raised for their meat and leathery hides. Since they are native to Alderaan, they are unable to appear on screen in the movies, but they are most famously referenced by Princess Leia as part of a string of insults aimed at Han Solo in The Empire Strikes Back.
Nerfs are suggested to be analogous to cows very early in the “Expanded Universe,” and that designation has remained throughout the decades of Star Wars lore. Not all nerfs died on Alderaan; their hardiness allowed them to adapt to different planets and ecologies around the galaxy. Players of SWTOR, of course, can visit them on their homeworld of Alderaan and they are a common sight on the grasslands of the world.
In a the very crowded cockpit of the Millennium Falcon, Han Solo proves he actually isn’t much of a nerf herder.
SWTOR’s depiction of nerfs is consistent with how they are seen in other Star Wars stories, and players can interact with and even occasionally battle nerfs on Alderaan. Nerfs are also associated with the Spring Abundance Festival on Dantooine. During this event, players are tasked with caring for and healing three sick and injured young animals from across the galaxy, including a tiny nerf calf which is stricken with Nerf-Pox. I do suggest handling this task with care since Nerf-Pox is known to also afflict humans. Make sure you have all your shots!
An Opal Vulptilla herds the Arctic Nerf Calf, the Nightlands Nerf Calf and the Hill Nerf Calf in front of the Art: Nerf decoration awarded from SWTOR‘s “…Who’s Scruffy Looking?” Achievement.
The Hill Nerf Calf, which is the subject of this post, can be found by players who pursue the secret Nerf Herder achievement which has our characters learn hidden lore about nerfs and unlock them as pets. Indeed, the only nerf pets available to players come from this exploration achievement. I’ve often referred to the Nerf Herding achievement as my favorite in the game, so much so that I wrote a guide helping players discover it for themselves. In addition to the three nerf pets, players can earn paintings of a nerf to hang in their strongholds and also unlock the absolutely essential “Nerf Herder” title for their characters.
I do want to take a moment to explore the name “nerf.” That nerfs would eventually be explained to be space-cows was hardly surprising and consistent with the notion that they should be creatures that need to be herded. That said, as a kid who grew up during the time of the first movies, the word “nerf” was most strongly associated with “the world’s first official indoor ball.” Nerf balls and footballs are soft-foam balls that excitable children, like myself, could throw around without fear of causing property damage. Cheap, disposable and compact, Nerf balls were common sights around the playgrounds, backyards, swimming pools and camping trips of my youth.
I would be shocked to learn that Leia’s line in The Empire Strikes Back intentionally referenced a Nerf Ball, but calling someone a “Nerf Herder” always struck me as funny, not because I thought Leia was calling Han a hick farmer, but because it seemed to me that she was saying that the only task up to his speed was wrangling harmless, soft foam toys with which even the smallest child could be trusted. It’s a job so easy, even Han Solo can’t screw it up.
For obvious reasons, this could not be official, but it always seemed to me to be the best explanation.
Addendum: Over on Bluesky, Cody Menzies reminded me that MMO-RPG players will be most familiar with the word “nerf” as the term for what happens when the developers weaken or “rebalance” certain classes or abilities. No one likes it when their favorite character suddenly hits with the force of Nerf ball, hence the origin of the term. Now, if my attacks landed on my enemies like full grown Alderaanian nerf dropped from a great height, I certainly would not complain!
Up Next: Man’s best friend?
